For The Record, I Have No Idea What I’m Doing

Since I was in middle-school, I have experimented with blogging, and as a pseudo-adult, I now return in an effort to keep myself accountable and hopefully grow a little bit in the process.  I don’t  necessarily care if anyone finds this blog in the corners of the internet, I just want to document growth in a sustainable manner.

Due to some recent introspection, I have come to the conclusion that I am lacking consistent, creative work in my life and worse yet, my ability to create and “work deeply” has been diminished through years of instant gratification and social media addiction. I have outspent my means, wasted countless hours, and missed significant opportunities, all due to my own lack of focus. No more.

For some background, I am happily employed in my profession of choice, happily engaged to the love of my life, living in my ideal neighborhood with a wonderful dog and 1.5 wonderful cats (one of the cats is only half wonderful), I am in shape, I meditate frequently, and eat well (most of the time). BUT I am in no way living up to my genetic potential.

If I had a dollar for every time I went on Facebook (Twitter, SOFREP), it still wouldn’t be worth it. I used my entire Christmas bonus (a significant portion of my income) to get me out of debt (which inhibited my ability to finish my skydiving license and makes current me quite angry at past me). I start things with good intentions and never follow through to the finish. I often forget important tasks if they aren’t written down. I use (often inappropriate) humor to mask my lack of comfortability in social situations. Did I mention I spend way too much money?

What really pisses me off is that I know better. Name a genius self-help author and I’ve read them; Napoleon Hill, Tim Ferriss, Tony Robbins, Cal Newport, Ryan Holiday, David Ramsey, Gary Keller, etc. etc.

So it’s time to make a change.

I have no fucking clue what I’m going, but I’m going to try to audit where I am, and build a path to get me in the vicinity of where I need to go.

Here goes nothing.

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